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我的爱情和你无关

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发表于 2016-5-1 22:13:50 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式

在写下这些东西之前,我给自己倒了一大杯红酒,仰头喝下一大口,希望借着酒意,回忆起这么多年的一些爱情往事。   

  我恋爱的开端在现在的小孩眼中肯定是晚恋的典型。高考毕业,才开始有人追求我。总结起晚恋的原因,我到现在都觉得和外貌有直接的关系。好吧,我承认哪个男生都不想和一个留着运动头,穿着肥大校服的的假小子谈恋爱。感谢高考的来临,学校对发型和衣着抓的不那么紧,女生蠢蠢欲动的爱美之心可以泛滥。自从我头发长及可以扎起马尾,某班的班长开始默默的追随我,几乎每次可以在餐厅离我不远不近的地方看到他。其实我很享受这种被但对于一些孩子来说人守护的感觉,正如料想的一样,高考结束后的第二天,他发短信和我告白了。比起短信告白,我更喜欢情书,令我遗憾的是,直到大学毕业我都没有收到过。这段感情并没有持续多久,因为高考志愿的不同,我们被不同的学校录取了,随后便再无来往。   

  不得不提的是,高中时代我暗恋过一个男生,从今天开始这将不再是一个秘密。这是一个怎样的男生呢?他给人的感觉坏坏的,痞痞的,很会哄女孩子开心,唱歌特别棒,篮球打得也好,在我心中,他就是一个阳光大男孩。那时候,我没有足够的勇气去占有这么一个男生,更何况,我怕被拒绝。现在想想有什么可怕的呢,运气好一点,他成了我的人;运气坏一点,我们成了陌生人。我至今仍记得,高中毕业第二年的班级聚会,我见到了暗恋的他,始终记得他看到我时的不可思议的表情,还有那句玩味的话:要不咱俩在一起吧。当时,我心想发型真特么重要,老娘也算美女一枚好吧,都被高中铁律这只刽子手扼杀了。最后的最后,自从那次聚会之后我们再无联系。大学时我还偷偷加了他人人,毕竟暗恋过一段时间,哪能说忘就忘。看到他有了女朋友,过得很幸福,虽然内心很不爽,但也只能祝福了,即使这样,我仍不忍删掉他,直到毕业后不再上人人,眼不见心不恋。   

  上大学后,我留起了披肩长发,穿文艺女神那种必备的长裙,开始学着走气质路线,果然我的桃花君开始眷顾我。我也欣然接收了男生的追求,谈过几段恋爱。我是很听话的孩子,我相信了学长学姐们那些“大学恋爱不长久,毕业即分手”的真言,并坚定地践行了这些真言:我享受这些爱情却没重视这些爱情。其中有一段类似伤痕的爱情。我喜欢上了一个坏坏的痞痞的时尚男生,好吧,不得不承认我对这类男生毫无抵抗力,至今遇到这样的男生我都会不自觉的多看两眼。这段爱情是我付出过真心却以被甩收尾的,像极了安徽台引进的泰国虐心电视剧。我用光了我所有的爱意,我给他写了很多情书还有情诗,和张爱玲一样低到尘埃里守护这份爱情,一个月后结果却被短短的几个字“没有新鲜感了”打破了我所有的幻想,这个可恶的臭男人。爱情就是这么不公平,谁认真了谁就输了。从那以后,我再没有给谁写过情书,不再说爱,爱在我心中代表了一种承诺,承诺了就必须践行。这种义无反顾的付出,我怕了。   

  毕业后,爱情不再是爱情。爱情和上床更多地联系在了一起。很多男人花言巧语的哄骗你,给你承诺只不过是获取你更多的好感,滚床单才是最终目的。能碰到珍惜你爱护你的男人,真的好很难。有时候遇到自己喜欢最新的分析结果显示的男生,在那种不可抗拒的情境中,在这个男人还没有明确关系前,就先献出了自己。这时候,我觉得自己很傻,为什么不先要个名分?可是,事后冷静想来,要了名分又有什么用。为了得到你,男人的话言不由衷得多,事后呢,照旧翻脸不认人,说不联系就不联系,说分就分。管你爱的死去活来。我渐渐的明白一个道理:为什么奢求这样一个名分呢?岂不轻贱了自己。和男人上床前想清楚,上床要心甘情愿,不要有所图,更别希冀他对你负责任。你爱他,他爱你,恭喜你收获了爱情;你爱慕了他,他不爱你,也不算坏事,起码他是你喜欢的人,不是什么癞蛤蟆,更何况他也免费服务了一晚。这样想来,各不相欠,心里自然轻松许多。   

  我们的爱情和被爱的人无关,爱就爱了,哪有那么多黯然心伤。别做哭哭啼啼的林黛玉,要爱就哄哄咧咧的爱一场,无论天崩地裂;不爱就分的干干脆脆,守好自尊,离开得潇潇洒洒。编辑评语回首爱情不堪,留些念想,引些共鸣(作者自评)
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发表于 2016-5-1 23:33:03 | 只看该作者

Ash in the dust

Time: 2012-08-25 18:29 prose sources: the original prose author: "Patsy" click: world any story, as the story of dust in the ashes. This is the reason why I have the title of the book. This want to put all the stories are written in the winter, because I like winter quietly with a sad Ning -->
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also make my heart a long time can not be calm. Perhaps the author is right: the life of the people who are not sure can be more able to withstand the test of life, will exercise an independent heart. Life is like a kaleidoscope, rich and colorful, with more success, victory, more frustration of failure. It can make people try to be happy and painful.
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